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Smoking is one of th 说:
2013年8月13日 16:07

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

If you believe in te 说:
2013年8月13日 08:23

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

If there’s one thing 说:
2013年8月12日 23:56

If there’s one thing I know it’s God does love a good joke.

I love Mickey Mouse 说:
2013年8月12日 23:56

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

Analyzing humor is l 说:
2013年8月12日 16:01

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.

If it weren't for el 说:
2013年8月12日 16:01

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

Am I lightheaded bec 说:
2013年8月12日 08:15

Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?

I shall not waste my 说:
2013年8月12日 08:15

I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.

The secret of a good 说:
2013年8月12日 00:06

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

I am ready to meet m 说:
2013年8月12日 00:06

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Humor is a rubber sw 说:
2013年8月11日 16:17

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.

You can get more wit 说:
2013年8月11日 08:17

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Millions long for im 说:
2013年8月11日 08:15

Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

He had decided to li 说:
2013年8月10日 23:27

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

In theory, there is 说:
2013年8月10日 15:08

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.

The question of whet 说:
2013年8月10日 15:08

The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.

Jesus may love you, 说:
2013年8月10日 07:17

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

Humor is the great t 说:
2013年8月10日 07:17

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

Getting an education 说:
2013年8月09日 23:17

Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

No mention of God. T 说:
2013年8月09日 23:17

No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.